Wisdom In Relationships.

Thinking! Thinking!! Thinking!!!

 

It seems all those I know that have been able to build successful organizations and successful relationships are people with excellent people skills. I think also, that relationships are very important in the success of any venture. The relationship between two friends is not exactly different from that of a parent and a child neither is it exactly different from that of two spouses.

 

I took a course in Basic Leadership at the Daystar Leadership Academy a few years ago and I remember one of the facilitators saying that "People will not remember what exactly you said, but they will remember how exactly you made them feel. If this is true, then it is very important that we are concerned about how the other party is going to feel from hearing the words we speak as those words might not be remembered for long but the feelings will linger for a long time.

 

I was hanging out with a few friends over the weekend, a luxury I decreasingly can afford these days and a discussion sprung up; one of my friends talked about another friend of ours that was not present at the time and was visibly angry because the guy had a certain weakness. I immediately countered his utterance and told him as long as this guy is our friend, we should all learn to accept him the way he is regardless of the weakness. He asked if it was wrong to want a friend to change and be corrected if that friend was wrong and I answered, "Absolutely not!" It is the way you go about it that matters.

 

You can go about it in two ways, one that elevates and lifts up the personality of the individual or another way that puts him down. I could have chosen to affirm his accusation and talk about the guy's weakness of which if this person found out would feel kind of betrayed by his friends but I stood up in his defense. Eventually, everyone seemed to agree that it is absolutely necessary we learn to stand up for each other at all times whenever the opportunity shows up.

 

Another relationship scenario is one between two spouses. Let us say it is that time of the year to take a trip on a vacation; the husband would like to travel to Kenya to experience the wildlife but the wife would like to France instead because of the romantic ambiance of the country.

 

The husband says, "I'm the head of this home so we do exactly what I say, "WE ARE GOING TO KENYA, AND THAT'S IT!" His wife is sad because of the way her husband made her feel. A wise husband can make his wife feel wonderful and at the same time get exactly what he wants. "My sweetheart, you want us to go to France, okay let's start getting ready for the trip." As they prepare, he's giving her all the attention she needs, takes her out to her favorite hang-out spots, buys her favorite perfume, helps her with some laundry and household chores, touches her and makes her feel like the treasure that she is.

 

She feels so wonderfully loved and like the most blessed woman on earth and then he asks her lovingly, "Sweetheart, I really love you and I always want you to be happy; that's why I have chosen to go with you to France but I would have loved to go to Kenya and have my beautiful wife with me as that experience will not be complete without you."

 

At this point in time, if the wife's love tank is so full she will most likely be the one to tell her husband that they should change their travel plans and go to Kenya instead.

 

This will definitely be a WIN-WIN situation for this family.

 

It is even better if it is the wife that has chosen to apply such kind of wisdom as she will literarily have her husband in the palm of her hands as men are insecure and egoistic and she’ll be making him feel secure and also will be feeding his ego.

 

Our words either lift people up or put them down. Let us learn to speak the words that lift others up. Remember, long after you speak those words the words might be forgotten but the feelings will stay. That is why we feel wonderful thinking about certain people and we seem to cringe if we think of others.

 

Just My Thoughts, Not a Rule!

 

Keep living in wisdom.

 

I Believe In You!